Atom Smasher

by Mark Renz

On a desolate back country road, with one hand on the wheel, I reach over and turn on my genius of a phone. No clicks. No beeps. Just a light touch or two on a tiny glass pane and our home number flashes across the screen.

“Hello?” says a barely audible voice.

“Good morning my tender sweet, did I wake you?”

“Yes, but that's okay. I need to get up. Is everything all right?”

“Everything's fine. It's just that I was wondering...”

“About atoms again?”

“You're so perceptive...I was thinking about why our Universe may be expanding...”

“Go on...” she yawns.

“Well, I was thinking about how everything reproduces and how – as populations grow in number, they need more space.”

“Okay...”

“And I was thinking about atoms and how small they are, about how trillions and trillions of them can be found on the tip of my nose.”

“Umhmm...” she says, yawning again.

“Well, the way I figure it, there are a lot of atoms on my nose because atoms are romantics...”

“Romantics?” she interrupts.

“Yes, romantics. Now think about this...Picture trillions and trillions of atoms on the tip of my nose. And now imagine that they're all looking for a mate. If they each connect and have little atom babies, suddenly you have trillions and trillions MORE atoms, right?”

“If you say so...”

“Those baby atoms need space to grow and raise little atom families of their own!”

“Okay...”

“Now I realize how tiny atoms are...and that they don't take up much space. But it isn't their size that matters in the grand scheme of things – it's their sheer numbers!”

“All right...”

“Well, perhaps space expansion is just a bunch of atoms having babies and looking for space to raise their families!”

“I don't mean to sound insensitive but I need to get my shower...It's going to be a busy day for both of us...”

“I understand, my little atom smasher. I'll see you this evening.”

“Okay...and if you pick up a bottle of white Zif on your way home, I'll be glad to hear more about those romantic little atoms on the tip of your nose.”

“It's a date!”