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SPECIAL RELEASE

Global Warming Threatens Polar Gators

By Lola Trackinberg, Glacial Times

Scientists are alarmed that global warming may threaten the remaining 2,000 alligators that congregate on ice packs in the summer Arctic seas. The toothy reptiles depend on tasty penguins and frozen marshmallows from tourists. But as Global Warming politics melt the ice, penguins and gators are abandoning their arctic habitats.

Asked to comment, President Obama said, “It's a mixed up, jumbled up, shook up world, I say Lola.”